PIRHANA IN 3D!!!!!!!

This is what happened tonight... and today:

1. Awakened to the sound of the cartoon birds that inhabit my window. (Actually, they perched on my shoulder as I sang my morning Hello to the world.)
2. bob and i said, "last night was fun-- thanks to Grindr"
3. called preston on way to pool. said "preston, we're going to said pool. wanna join?"
4. preston joins at pool. brings Hennessey.
5. together, the three of us scheme ways to get greenstuffs
6. preston friends calls. asks if he wants to smoke. to which he says, "Umm, I don't USUALLY.. but I guess i will"
7. tans in the bag, we leave golden brown with optimism
8. said friend smokes us up while watching alice in wonderland
9. preston, bob, and i go to see Piraña 3D at harvard Square with our free passes
10. 3D movies cost extra. didn't know this.
11. thus, our tickets leave us with a difference of $9
12. despite the three of us being "young professionals" (JK!!) we don't have the $9
13. a group of girls coming back from fire + ice recognize Preston
14. they take a pic with him. we all beg for cash.
15. they give us $4
16. we do cash deposit into bob's BOA acct.
17. we prove the old lady with the beard wrong..
18. and she has no choice but. to....
19. give us our tickets to Piraña 3D!!!1!!

Great movie.

Imagine Barbie doll vaginas being affectionately mauled by pre-historic fish species.

So artsy-meets-savage-meets-Gilligan.

So great that I've not removed my glasses.

THE RAVE'S FIRST TV DEBUT

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/554560/a-boy-with-girls-toys.jhtml

Happy Birthday Jay Mohr

Happy Birthday today to Jay Mohr, Preston's new best friend! Jay Mohr, the actor that everyone knows, but no one can name a movie he's been in.

good thing i got it bleached

this is the type of rim job i've been DYING for.

get me to SoHo

http://videogum.com/210502/nsfw-inception-themed-craigslist-rim-job-posting/webjunk/

Going Gangrene

So, if you're like me and sick of the "going green" trend, here are few cool tips to go green... the alternative way:

1. Forget TP. Instead, try wiping with a paper bag from your local grovery store. It hurts, but atleast you're saving a tree.

2. Who needs paper when you can write on the walls?

3. Wear fur. Especially the fur of animals that eat plants. Why no one is criticing the giraffe population for eating all the damn leaves off trees is beyond me.

4. Shit outside. Fertilizer.. duh.

5. Eat plastic bags. This way, they'll break down in your stomach and, thus, will probably be able to be recycled.

6. Stop flushing your toilet. Your roomates may get mad, but who are they to defy Mother Nature?

7. Stop taking showers. Try the Benjamin Franklin Fresh-Air approach. To do this, stand outside naked in a windstorm and let the cool breeze wash away your sins and whatever else you need to wash away.

8. Collect all the cigarette butts from the ground and do arts and crafts with them (for inspiration, look to Lady GaGa's cigarette shades in the "telephone" video).

9. If you can't figure out how to make the cigarette glasses (or you just don't have the right glue), try eating them instead. Kirstie Alley did this to lose weight so it can't be all that bad, right?

10. Wear smaller shoes so that your carbon footprint isn't so large.

11. Last but not least: Think green. Just think about the world looking really clean and uncluttered and it should help. It's that whole positive thinking mentality type of thing. I think.

may i recommend

to you mango -

for your future weekend endeavor:

Bobby... where are you?

Saw this while browsing through facebook this morning. Apparently one of my friends passed by this bearwash. I'm pretty sure Q6Q would get in line 5 times just to have these hairy muts wash him.

My Fashion Daddy

Because the best way to get to know any one of us is by looking at the people we love. So, here's my first.

Enter Sir Elton John: raging queen, virtuoso of the keys, rocker of the large frames.... I could go on and on about the many reasons I've come to love this guy, but instead of typing a thousand words, I offer this:

Fuck Shit Hell Y'all

So life as I know it is over. Now, the funny thing is that this life, that I'm now living, is not dissimilar from the life that's over. I still can't afford my soy milk, granola, and dried fruit on the convertor belt before me; the only difference is that the cashier at the checkout now knows my name. "Your total is $10.72." "Well I'll just pass on the dried fruit today. Besides, dried fruit is void of vitamins... Just like my bank account is void of dollars (awkward smile)." "Aren't you the kid from the Real World? Preston.. Right?" Adding insult to injury, these days my life seems to be much like my life before "Stardom," except everyone now knows my name. In writing this I have let the last bit of dignity fly out the window, which is actually a good thing since soon I'll be the future star of a low-budget adult film entitled the "Real Hole: New Orleans." I'm fine with this latest advancement in my life. Now instead of taking it hard from some unseen source, I now know the force behind the thrust will be a 5' 7" latin man with a distended belly named Edwardo. I'll check in later to let you know how the fist shoot goes; hopefully it won't be in my eye... I still don't have medical insurance. 

Presto 

Sent from I-Intellegence

Best Weekend Ever?

Well my weekend is already starting to shape up. It's only Saturday morning and my Friday night was already a success/shitshow. After celebrating two of my boys bdays, we were heading back to Cambridge (1am) and one of the cars got pulled over and my dude David was arrested. So naturally, I spent the next 3 hours hanging out in the South Boston, State Police barracks, trying to bail him out. Got him out at 4am, had a drink, called it a night. Now my entire family comes down to go ravage Boston tonight... lets see if we can out do last night. I'm shooting for 2 arrests, 1 fight, and someone getting laid. Cross ya fingers

old faithful

me: whoever sleeps in our bed this weekend should be warned - jeremy shit all over the sheets after i went splunking last night.

Sent at 1:50 PM on Friday

Matt: wait, is there really straight cuck on the sheets?

me: brown

Matt: did u take the sheets off?

does it smell like poop in there?

me: its kinda musty now

Sent at 1:54 PM on Friday

Matt: are u kidding me right now

so i need to change the sheets

me: and wash

he had bad stomache ache

and i didnt care

Matt: i'm not touchin your poop sheets

me: thats why i said

this mornign the hsower/his ass

STUNK

Matt: tmi

me: tell mark i hope he likes the smell of tuna from the other end

Sent at 1:56 PM on Friday

Matt: when i get home, i'm taking ur sheets and putting them in a trash bag in your closet

you can deal when u get back

lol

me: it's going to stink!

i couldn't help myself.

literally at one point - it was like old faithful erupted

Matt: yeah, well you should've washed them this morning, i could've switched it to the dryer when i got back

its fucking poo, what do you think its gonna smell good?

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWrklFuYnb0

Old Faithful Geyser Erupts, Yellowstone National Park

Matt: yeah i know what old faithful looks like

me: listen to the music

lol

it was like i had tub girl in the bedroom lastnight

Matt: stop

tmi

really

Guerilla Marketing Tip #8

Last night there were four girls over. When I looked at their bags in the living room, I didn't see upper-middle-class mall culture, no. I saw four microcosms of opportunity. Being the self-promoter that I am, I seized the chance to get four new fans.

the death of whiskey breath

once you realize you've got a problem, it's a surprisingly optimistic feeling. kinda like sitting at the bottom of a well and knowing the only place you can actually go is up to that light at the top of it. i've always been a huge fan of change-- if not OCD about them. i mean, i rearraange each room in the apartment almost daily. so there's no reason to not enact it on a personal level.

and there's no reason every day needs to be seen through a fog. or not seen at all, depending on the severity of whatever concoction i'd made that afternoon. yes, afternoon. i used to be content, like all the time. like, didn't think about these vices constantly. i have hobbies that i've not touched for too long. and nothing is worse - and less justifiable- than apologies the morning after for things i'd never in my sober mind see myself doing or saying. plus, no ones wants to be the embarassment in a group of friends. that is a role reserved for people like mel gibson, or madonna's brother, Christopher-- people no one ever imagines themselves being. but unlike with flaws, we knowingly let some things slip under the radar.

that said, it's the death of whiskey breath, not kingston. he'll live on in all his glory, and will go on to wear the most beautifully golden wigs in all the land. i just want to go back to being crazy all on my own, with no help from poisons. there's no doubt that crazy is innate, so i'm not worried. i'll have it back in no time.

i'm reclaiming the fun. and silencing the trouble maker.

so, in ending this serious post (yeah, i can be serious and stuff, but i try to keep it on the dl, so no linking to this, lol) this is a final apology to anyone that's been affected by this in any number of ways. i hope you don't think i'm a lost cause, because i don't think i am anymore.

ok, now that this is over, take a deep breath and laugh or do something stupid. my least favorite note to leave on is a serious one. and even more than that, i'm dreading pressing the Publish Post button because, well... it's embarassing. but whatevs.

i only wrote this here so i could be held accountable for it.

Ok, let's be serious for a minute.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

That's some real talk, Ben Stein.

Manifesto of the Pauper

cash cash money money
cream rules everything around me
i get paid, then give it away
low balance threshold...
after five days.
where does my money go, you ask? '
phone bills, credit cards, weed, and gas.
sallie mae, blow me bitch
you think i have $500 a month to ditch?
hell no, so you and direct loan
can get on your knees
and tongue my bone
some go green, but i dont bother
organic shit is rich-bitch fodder

before i go, i'll impart one thing:
i'm poor right now,
but one day i'll be king

amen.

Lovin my A/C

I got an icebox where my bed used to be.

mmmmm

(via vintage ads)

mission: stalk gaga. fail.

at least we can go see the polaroid fo frizzles at mitizzles.

confucius says:

Anne

she needs to pull a Nikki Ritchie and get prggers by someone slightly respectable and relevant

then people will be like "she was off her rocker? no!!!"

10:04pmAnne

Angie Jolie pretty much did that in the most impressive manner... granted she was way more talented and less trainwreckish, but still

on the phone w presto

'we got a puff charge. a PUFF charge. like, puff puff pass."
- prestomajic, on blunt things in expensive LA hotels

poor lindsay

is going to the chokey in 20 days.
im sorry blohan.
i still think you got it.

this picture does make me smile though.

Ryan Leslie: King of Douches

Or, more appropriately, King of Queens.

it's a quick hit

but probably one of my favorite clips from the first episode.
it happens so quickly and leaves you wanting more.
you actually think for a second - wait - is he really in a wig?

then it's gone and you're like - did i really just see that?

Work it

Happy Birthday to Missy Elliot. I love giving out B-day wishes.


I can't stand the rain either... i just lose control.

cont. toilet bowl talk

this morning - im sitting on the bowl.
random - out of nowhere thought ----

yokozuna.

seriously.

look at him.


wasn't his like finishing move something like he'd jump off the top rope and like sit on your face?
im gay and i wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy.

come to find out - this dude died way back in 2000 due to heart failure.
ill probably think about him in another 10 years.
RIP

Toilet Bowl Blues

... to the max.

So, I work in a building that houses various companies, from obscure ones that sell computer security software and soap dispensers for public bathrooms to clean water organizations and whatever else resides up there (besides the third floor conference room/lounge where I took CPR/defibrillator training, I never go higher than the first floor).

ANYWAYS, the point of this being: There is no daycare in the building. Nor are there any children. So, please understand my frustations when I say that the bathrooms look like a legit sarcophagus. Like toilet paper strewn all over the floor, yet - and get this - neatly placed, sheet by goddamn sheet, around the seat of the toilet. In layers. If that's not enough, whoever does this - and on a pretty consistent basis too - plugs the toilet to the brim with long swirly strips of - you guessed it, his favorite play toy- TP!

I don't even know what I did to deserve this. My bathroom karma is fucking pristine. I mean, I won't even go INto a bathroom with someone in the stall. I don't talk on the phone in there; I don't make a mess; hell, I even soak up the water if I get a little crazy washing my hands.

This goes out to Brit Brit, the potty goddess: Hear my prayers.

Happy Birthday Iron Mike!

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children." - Mike Tyson

Shabbat shalom, motherfuckers!

So this crazy drunk bitch is hating on Sahar now for being muslim. WTF is wrong with people? Does she not get that everything she says is nutso extremist bullshit? This woman is a total joke.

This is the same crackhead that spouts shit like "Barack Hussein Obama, once a muslim always a muslim." Get a fucking grip, lady. You may a blonde gilf, but you're still a fucking crazy suicide bomber extremist in a skirt-suit as far as im concerned.

Can you tell how mad I am? What an ignorant, hate-mongering douche-bag.

Mango Will Be Very Sad

Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

Guerilla Marketing 101

I'm the type of person who will do anything for a page view. So, if you've got something and you want it seen, here's a list of tips and tricks I've employed in my battle for internet virility (not sure if that word works right there...)

1. Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I say to beautiful soul in the mirror: "If Paris Hilton can listen to her own songs, so can I." (Repeat 3x if necessary)

2. And this one is my new FAVE (hollllla!): On lunch breaks, I go into the Apple store and find their iPad displays. One by one, I pull up Youtube, search for myself, pull my video up, on full volume/full screen OBVS, press pause, and walk away. (Tip: If you're doing this at a retailer with a smaller selection - i.e. Best Buy - I suggest doing this, but then actually turning them ON. Then walk away. Fast.)

3. Tweet random things at Justin Bieber's fans on Twitter, and include some boggled link to your video/song (you know, like, on tinyurl.com). An example of one such tweet might be: "hey @littlegirl, here's a picture of @kimkardashian that was taken right after her death: www.xtube.com/k1ngst0n." And, voila, there's your page view little man!

4. Print: a map of the world, and another one of the US. Hang these up near a computer. Then, each day, "conquer" one state and one Asian country (I say Asian because the product I'm promoting is pop music, which they love. If you were promoting, say, death metal or a video of you pooping on someone's chest, I might suggest something like Germany or any Eastern European country. Capiche? Gut.) That said, Conquering is the act of mass-friending large groups of people from internet sites like Myspace and/or Twitter.

5. Be mindful of your audience. If you're dancing around shirtless and wearing gold things, like me, you may want to start with the gay community. Like, duh. I might even throw a little of their lingo at them in the request like, "oh Hay girl I'm fierce. My song was made from glitter and vodka." They love that stuff. And, guuurl, you'll see your page views FABOOSHING in number.

6. Have faith in what you do. All feedback is good feedback because at least they gave you a page view. However, if the feedback is particularly negative, it never hurts to steal a strand of the naysayer's hair and put an Egyptian Curse on he or she. That, or you could try a love spell and turn a hater into a SUPER FAN! (For more information: newspells.com)

6. Watch my tutorial on the above-mentioned tips and tricks: http://tinyurl.com/33emtpk

Saturday Night Beaver

So Saturday was the Real World New Orleans premier in Boston. We watched the first episode. All were in attendance. Q6Q, PrestoMajic, Mango, Kingston, and of course, yours truly. @AshleeFeldman was there with her pussy posse, and we ended up kissing in the photo booth. That's an entirely different story though.

The real story pertains to what a total douche Ryan Leslie is. See, here's my take on it. He's a misunderstood 12 year old trapped in a 13 year old's body with the tattoo's of an angsty 11 year old. That's all well and good. I'm sure he's a decent kid and they're going to make him look like a total a-hole during this season's real world.

But it doesn't help when you start acting like a total a-hole in real life too. Yes, I instigated it. But honestly, you have to be prepared for this shit if you put yourself on national TV.



I'd just like to point out - 4 retweets within the first minute of tweeting that. kthx.

Then, I get an eloquent response:



And then bam:



and boo hoo poor baby:



it's okay, love u too:




Seriously? Blow me.

R.I.P.Y.T.

#RIP MJ

BILLIE JEAN MOTOWN!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XZGJiY2a3o]

this tan puts me to shame

This is how I feel...

...I just hope it's not how I look.

USA!

mango is drunk at work

Matt: 23oz IPAs on an empty stomach, i'm buzzin like a vuvuzella
me: marry me

and then i inserted my foot in my mouth

before i can explain yesterday's story, let me provide a brief backstory: q6q, mango, pussyposse (who doesn't write for this blog but is a total maniac on twitter), and i moved into our new apartment a few weeks ago. the halls always smell like deluscious (delicious + luscious) greenstuffs. that, and we knew it was from the apartment above us because when we open the utility closet, which houses the big furnace thing and has a hole in the ceiling (which is their floor), not only can i hear their conversations (creepy; swear i don't listen in though), but i can smell their stuff.

Fast forward to last thursday: friends were over and @ericakirkwood and i decide to go up and see if maybe they do sell. so we knock on their door and after a minute or so they call out.

"who is it?"

"i live beneath you" i say.

they open the door, and we do the introduction thing before i break into monologue.

"so.. we always smell weed. and it smells really good. and i thought it was coming from your apartment because, well, the utilities closet has a hole so i can hear" - i pause and decide NOT to divulge the fact that i can hear conversations because if a stranger said that to me, i'd feel weird- "i mean SMELL delicious stuff.... so basically... i was... wondering... and i dont mean to be all stereotype-y and shit.... but. Do you sell weed?"

They laugh. "no, but we can hook it up." Within minutes, their friend had arrived and he came through for us. awesome.

yesterday we needed to replenish. so i called our neighbor- i'll call him tom- on his cell phone. he's on his way back, says he'll call his friend. a few minutes later, he calls back.

"come downstairs. he just got here."

i go downstairs. the transaction is complete. then i decide to apologize to him for the other night (that first night we got stuff from his friend, we went to bed on the earlier side. so, i'd missed his text. and when he came down, we were obviously sleeping/unresponsive. figuring that he wanted to hang out- which i totally would; both neighbors seem pretty chill- i felt like i should explain just so he doesn't think i'm a user.)

after i explain this to him, he starts laughing.

"aw man, I'm not Tom. I'm BoBo." (this all occurred in front of his two friends in the car.)

I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!

Feedback on my video!

Posted on Facebook by a stranger named Ryan Keeley (Kingston Army, poised to rape and pillage). He sounds like a goth or something:

"What the FUCK did I just watch. I feel like my eyes as well as my central nervous system was just skull fucked by God's dick of karma. In no hypothetical instance would I force any entity to bear witness to what I just watched. It was, without question or even a smidgen of doubt, the most atrocious collection of poorly shot, shoddily written ... See Moreand downright appalling collection of what I hesitate to even call cinema/music. I hope that no other human being is conned into watching that, and, if by some cruel twist of fate someone does, God bestow mercy on their souls. Fuck."


I LOVE MY FANS!!!

UPDATE: Rave Social has just been informed that the conductor of this hate train is actually NOT a fan; he lives under a bridge and, thus, is a troll.

And to that, we say: Get back under that bridge, ugly.

i tell it like it is.

next blog

After seeing what fun Kingston stumbled upon with "next blog" I tried the same.

Well... Happy Birthday Willy Wonka, and welcome to the World of Nonny Nu!

whoa nelly

this is the best article to date.

MTV to get down and dirty in 'Real World: New Orleans' by Lisa de Moraes for the Washington Post.

Mango:
Wait.. did somebody say Nelly?

from...Rap Lyrics of the (17)90's

"Birthed and reared in West Philadelphia, the days of my childhood and early youth were spent in the wildernesses just beyond our village, where my companions and I passed many an hour roaming free and frolicking, oftentimes playing ball sports in the proximity of the schoolhouse. I recall a certain occasion on which two wastrels came upon us, interrupted our pursuits, caused a general ruckus, and incited a fray. Upon my honour, had I not been bested by these mongrels, no doubt my loving mother would not have laid her heavy hand and decided my future in such an immovable manner as she then did. Her words, as I recollect, were 'Get thee to Bel Air forthwith, where you will live with your aunt and uncle in peace, and whence you will return only when you have become a man, noble as any other.' Alas! What choice had I, but to summon a cab and depart from that dear childhood home? How strange it was to see that the approaching buggy appeared to be painted with nonsensical lettering and festooned with the symbols of gambling and sin. Yet I disregarded it and considered it a rarity. 'To Bel Air, if you please' said I to the cabbie as together we heaved up my trunk. At perhaps seven or eight of the clock, after some hours of evening travel, the buggy came to a halt at the entrance of a grand house. After bidding the driver farewell, I regarded my new lodgings. Here would I be educated. Here would I learn my place in the family. Here would I reign, in a sense, as the new prince of Bel Air."

excerpt from RAP LYRICS OF THE (17)90'S.

BY CHLOE FILSON

[via McSweeney's Lists]

homage

an artistic interpretation of the #failwhale.

Better than all the rest

in other news: i can't stop wanting to buy shit. clothes, accessories, office supplies, appliances, useless shit.. you name it. i'll want to give you money for it. UGH.

This Charming Man

Welcome to Earth.

i'm blogging like crazy

by accident, i just clicked 'next blog' up on the blogger menu, and this is what i saw:

pictures are in order

friday night, ricky came over. we drank whiskey and went dancing at zuzu. saturday morning- because we don't have curtains- we all woke up at 8:30, went to 1369 coffee house, then the salvation army. which brings me to the real meat of my story if you will: we found a go go's record for .99 cents. then we took pictures with it.



(note: This one above was actually not taken at the same time as the others, but bobby wanted me to post it because he says he looks good in it.)

best diet ever

"we would never, ever eat
out of a brown paper bag.

i don't care if there's
a culinary masterpiece in it.

Get rid of it.

…

Don't think we're anorexic; we're not.
That's for the Karen Carpenter table.

We're not stupid; we eat—

and we eat well.

We just don't eat in public.

We don't want people
judging us by what we eat.

it gives them ammo.
The only ones with ammo are us.

Food's cool.
You need it to live.

But the mere act of eating
invokes thoughts of digestion...

...flatulation, defecation...

...even, shall we say,
complexion defection.

i'd never eat a greasy pizza.

Not even in front of
The ultra-special students...

...because they're associating that
greasy pizza with your shiny face.

A zit, a blackhead,
a cluster of pores.

it's just another vexing stress

Life is hard enough
without added anxiety

…

So, are introductions in order?"



(Rose McGowan in Jawbreaker)

inspiration

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNKGN5GMw4s

custom made

preston - last night - kingston stood up until the break of dawn. custom making this piece for the premiere party.

wear it in style - of course.

I didn't realize Joey Crawford was refereeing World Cup matches now.

The US team just got ROBBED.

(p)oop-ed

This email that was sent out to ALL employees. Props to the office manager to have the balls to send this email to everyone.. like interns and CEOs, everyone got this email.

But the real question, is how bad do you feel if you're the guy who stunk up the bathroom SO bad that an email had to be sent... I'd stop shitting for a week, or at least until I had an iced coffee.

(p)op-ed

So, what with Xtina's shitty new music and clown-hooker outfits, Katy Perry's stupid video complete with titty cupcakes that spew semen, and Adam Lambert being... well, Adam Lambert, I feel the need to rant.

Let me share some pop facts:
1. Xtina sucks. She's a bitch in person and doesn't allow waitstaff at restaurants to make eye contact (not that anyone would want to look into her ugly soul anyways, but it's still a bit pretentious for such an irrelevant and misguided douche-monger.)
2. Katy Perry is an idiot (no explanation needed).
3. Okay, explanation: California Girls sucks. Not going to be a summer song. And the video-- I feel like I've seen it before. Oh wait, I did: Fergalicious. Candy Lands been done. She could've at least done something along the lines of Shoots and Ladders so we coulda watched her hurt herself, one rung at a time.
3. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON COUNTESS LUANN (thank you, Q6Q, for introducing me yesterday).
4. Kingston Hughes has one of the largest things in pop music.
5. I want to be friends with Kingston Hughes. He is so cool.

Buh-Bye.

the similarities are uncanny

between

the countess: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEDvlSAMhQU

and

kingston: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSm6tS8b1oE

bacon

i think this would be a great addition to the apartment.

i dont think the landlord (do we even have one) would be opposed.

they're small. docile. friendly. don't eat as much.

i bet we could train it.

look how cute...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini_pig

#worldcupmotherfuckers

Up in Smoke: My Life in Cigarettes

So, I quit smoking.

Like, for real reals. And it's not so bad (thank you, Chantix), but the hardest thing is breaking routine. You see, I used to divide my work day as follows:

- 9am arrival
- 10am cigarette, despite having about three on the walk/ride in.
- 11am cigarette (I know, that's already 5 and it's not even noon)
- At noon, I grab the mail. And since I'm up, why not take a smoke break?
- Lunch break at 1pm. Cigarette on the walk to the mall. Then one or two while I'm fiddling with garageband on the foodcourt terrace. Then another to get me back to the office.
- 3pm cigarette (A note on the thought that goes into this one: "OMG only two hours 'til five! I'm so excited I could smoke.")
- 4pm cigarette ("Oh what the hell, only an hour left.")
- 5pm after-work release cigarette ("And with this exhale, I'm cleansing not only my lungs of smoke, but my mind of work.")

Thus, the question is begged: WHAT THE HELL DO I FUCKING DO WITH ALL THIS GODDAMN MUDDA-EFFING FREE TIME?!!?

And then the answer: READ MARILYN MANSON'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY BECAUSE NOT ALLOWING ONESELF THE LUXURY OF A SMOKE IS LIKE SELF-INFLICTED MASOCHISTIC BONDAGE.

(Fun Fact I learned: MM once fisted a gay man after one of his shows, on a dare from Trent Reznor.)

Buh Bye.

Ain't Nothing but a gangsta party

Happy Birthday Tupac. Still waiting for that comeback, he's not really dead, right?

Anyways, here is one of his favorite videos - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSm6tS8b1oE

Woops

After just enough BLs but too many shots on Saturday, this is basically how I parked my car at the end of the night. I'm sending an open apology to the resident of Cambridge whose car I bumper tapped, not once, not twice, but three times. No damage to your car, or mine, so basically no harm done. Although I was parked on the curb at one point.

Hopefully one day we can will meet and share a laugh, because right now I'm the only one laughing.

Not one of my proudest moments. But I basically had 3 choices:
A.) Die.
B.) DUI.
C.) Get home safely.

Thank god I'm good at multiple choice questions

to the boy:

happy birthday boy george.

49 years young still going strong after those 17 year olds.

good work.

my debit card was sacrificed.

long story short - the gays of rave social had a weekend together. a long weekend.

started with thursday - i'll leave that one alone.

friday night - house party in lowell for kirsten.

some highlights:

1. "what are you doing out so late?" (@ 11:00 PM walking the streets of lowell by a rando on a bike)

2. the slanted porch almost falling down.

3. the "questionable" drunk indian.

4. the "almost fight" in the living room.

5. "i just mean girled her"

6. ribbon dancing alone in the living room

7. champagne + cranberry juice

8. free birthday weed

saturday - the wedding

some highlights:

1. the wedding in general

2. Wendy's post church pre reception - seriously

3. open bar - JAYKAY

4. scotch on the rocks

5. the rolls

6. dancing non stop with middle aged aunts

7. spin the bottle - of course

8. getting stoned pre-dinner

9. red velvet cake

10. rambling in the card/spelling errors

11. one pint and 6 nips pre reception - the jump off

picture:

they were really enjoying their food.

saturday - POST wedding

some highlights:

1. charleston chews.

2. GOOMIN' .

3. lots of green.

4. INTENSE infomercials (MIDNIGHT SPECIAL).

5. almost buying the infomercial product.

6. 2:00 sub order (preston's obsession w/ the ham)

7. kittens obsession w/ the ham (picture below)

8. laughing non-stop

9. uncomfortable sleep on the couch.

sunday - graduation party

some highlights:

1. sleeping en route

2. buffalo chicken fingers

3. sam summer/wine

4. food food food

5. preston's nap during the party

6. croquet

7. sleeping on the way back

too tired to finish.