(p)op-ed

So, what with Xtina's shitty new music and clown-hooker outfits, Katy Perry's stupid video complete with titty cupcakes that spew semen, and Adam Lambert being... well, Adam Lambert, I feel the need to rant.

Let me share some pop facts:
1. Xtina sucks. She's a bitch in person and doesn't allow waitstaff at restaurants to make eye contact (not that anyone would want to look into her ugly soul anyways, but it's still a bit pretentious for such an irrelevant and misguided douche-monger.)
2. Katy Perry is an idiot (no explanation needed).
3. Okay, explanation: California Girls sucks. Not going to be a summer song. And the video-- I feel like I've seen it before. Oh wait, I did: Fergalicious. Candy Lands been done. She could've at least done something along the lines of Shoots and Ladders so we coulda watched her hurt herself, one rung at a time.
3. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON COUNTESS LUANN (thank you, Q6Q, for introducing me yesterday).
4. Kingston Hughes has one of the largest things in pop music.
5. I want to be friends with Kingston Hughes. He is so cool.

Buh-Bye.