may i recommend

to you mango -

for your future weekend endeavor:

Bobby... where are you?

Saw this while browsing through facebook this morning. Apparently one of my friends passed by this bearwash. I'm pretty sure Q6Q would get in line 5 times just to have these hairy muts wash him.

My Fashion Daddy

Because the best way to get to know any one of us is by looking at the people we love. So, here's my first.

Enter Sir Elton John: raging queen, virtuoso of the keys, rocker of the large frames.... I could go on and on about the many reasons I've come to love this guy, but instead of typing a thousand words, I offer this:

Fuck Shit Hell Y'all

So life as I know it is over. Now, the funny thing is that this life, that I'm now living, is not dissimilar from the life that's over. I still can't afford my soy milk, granola, and dried fruit on the convertor belt before me; the only difference is that the cashier at the checkout now knows my name. "Your total is $10.72." "Well I'll just pass on the dried fruit today. Besides, dried fruit is void of vitamins... Just like my bank account is void of dollars (awkward smile)." "Aren't you the kid from the Real World? Preston.. Right?" Adding insult to injury, these days my life seems to be much like my life before "Stardom," except everyone now knows my name. In writing this I have let the last bit of dignity fly out the window, which is actually a good thing since soon I'll be the future star of a low-budget adult film entitled the "Real Hole: New Orleans." I'm fine with this latest advancement in my life. Now instead of taking it hard from some unseen source, I now know the force behind the thrust will be a 5' 7" latin man with a distended belly named Edwardo. I'll check in later to let you know how the fist shoot goes; hopefully it won't be in my eye... I still don't have medical insurance. 

Presto 

Sent from I-Intellegence

Best Weekend Ever?

Well my weekend is already starting to shape up. It's only Saturday morning and my Friday night was already a success/shitshow. After celebrating two of my boys bdays, we were heading back to Cambridge (1am) and one of the cars got pulled over and my dude David was arrested. So naturally, I spent the next 3 hours hanging out in the South Boston, State Police barracks, trying to bail him out. Got him out at 4am, had a drink, called it a night. Now my entire family comes down to go ravage Boston tonight... lets see if we can out do last night. I'm shooting for 2 arrests, 1 fight, and someone getting laid. Cross ya fingers

old faithful

me: whoever sleeps in our bed this weekend should be warned - jeremy shit all over the sheets after i went splunking last night.

Sent at 1:50 PM on Friday

Matt: wait, is there really straight cuck on the sheets?

me: brown

Matt: did u take the sheets off?

does it smell like poop in there?

me: its kinda musty now

Sent at 1:54 PM on Friday

Matt: are u kidding me right now

so i need to change the sheets

me: and wash

he had bad stomache ache

and i didnt care

Matt: i'm not touchin your poop sheets

me: thats why i said

this mornign the hsower/his ass

STUNK

Matt: tmi

me: tell mark i hope he likes the smell of tuna from the other end

Sent at 1:56 PM on Friday

Matt: when i get home, i'm taking ur sheets and putting them in a trash bag in your closet

you can deal when u get back

lol

me: it's going to stink!

i couldn't help myself.

literally at one point - it was like old faithful erupted

Matt: yeah, well you should've washed them this morning, i could've switched it to the dryer when i got back

its fucking poo, what do you think its gonna smell good?

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWrklFuYnb0

Old Faithful Geyser Erupts, Yellowstone National Park

Matt: yeah i know what old faithful looks like

me: listen to the music

lol

it was like i had tub girl in the bedroom lastnight

Matt: stop

tmi

really

Guerilla Marketing Tip #8

Last night there were four girls over. When I looked at their bags in the living room, I didn't see upper-middle-class mall culture, no. I saw four microcosms of opportunity. Being the self-promoter that I am, I seized the chance to get four new fans.

the death of whiskey breath

once you realize you've got a problem, it's a surprisingly optimistic feeling. kinda like sitting at the bottom of a well and knowing the only place you can actually go is up to that light at the top of it. i've always been a huge fan of change-- if not OCD about them. i mean, i rearraange each room in the apartment almost daily. so there's no reason to not enact it on a personal level.

and there's no reason every day needs to be seen through a fog. or not seen at all, depending on the severity of whatever concoction i'd made that afternoon. yes, afternoon. i used to be content, like all the time. like, didn't think about these vices constantly. i have hobbies that i've not touched for too long. and nothing is worse - and less justifiable- than apologies the morning after for things i'd never in my sober mind see myself doing or saying. plus, no ones wants to be the embarassment in a group of friends. that is a role reserved for people like mel gibson, or madonna's brother, Christopher-- people no one ever imagines themselves being. but unlike with flaws, we knowingly let some things slip under the radar.

that said, it's the death of whiskey breath, not kingston. he'll live on in all his glory, and will go on to wear the most beautifully golden wigs in all the land. i just want to go back to being crazy all on my own, with no help from poisons. there's no doubt that crazy is innate, so i'm not worried. i'll have it back in no time.

i'm reclaiming the fun. and silencing the trouble maker.

so, in ending this serious post (yeah, i can be serious and stuff, but i try to keep it on the dl, so no linking to this, lol) this is a final apology to anyone that's been affected by this in any number of ways. i hope you don't think i'm a lost cause, because i don't think i am anymore.

ok, now that this is over, take a deep breath and laugh or do something stupid. my least favorite note to leave on is a serious one. and even more than that, i'm dreading pressing the Publish Post button because, well... it's embarassing. but whatevs.

i only wrote this here so i could be held accountable for it.

Ok, let's be serious for a minute.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

That's some real talk, Ben Stein.

Manifesto of the Pauper

cash cash money money
cream rules everything around me
i get paid, then give it away
low balance threshold...
after five days.
where does my money go, you ask? '
phone bills, credit cards, weed, and gas.
sallie mae, blow me bitch
you think i have $500 a month to ditch?
hell no, so you and direct loan
can get on your knees
and tongue my bone
some go green, but i dont bother
organic shit is rich-bitch fodder

before i go, i'll impart one thing:
i'm poor right now,
but one day i'll be king

amen.

Lovin my A/C

I got an icebox where my bed used to be.

mmmmm

(via vintage ads)

mission: stalk gaga. fail.

at least we can go see the polaroid fo frizzles at mitizzles.

confucius says:

Anne

she needs to pull a Nikki Ritchie and get prggers by someone slightly respectable and relevant

then people will be like "she was off her rocker? no!!!"

10:04pmAnne

Angie Jolie pretty much did that in the most impressive manner... granted she was way more talented and less trainwreckish, but still

on the phone w presto

'we got a puff charge. a PUFF charge. like, puff puff pass."
- prestomajic, on blunt things in expensive LA hotels

poor lindsay

is going to the chokey in 20 days.
im sorry blohan.
i still think you got it.

this picture does make me smile though.

Ryan Leslie: King of Douches

Or, more appropriately, King of Queens.

it's a quick hit

but probably one of my favorite clips from the first episode.
it happens so quickly and leaves you wanting more.
you actually think for a second - wait - is he really in a wig?

then it's gone and you're like - did i really just see that?

Work it

Happy Birthday to Missy Elliot. I love giving out B-day wishes.


I can't stand the rain either... i just lose control.

cont. toilet bowl talk

this morning - im sitting on the bowl.
random - out of nowhere thought ----

yokozuna.

seriously.

look at him.


wasn't his like finishing move something like he'd jump off the top rope and like sit on your face?
im gay and i wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy.

come to find out - this dude died way back in 2000 due to heart failure.
ill probably think about him in another 10 years.
RIP