09 February 2011

OMIGOD! PRESTON! PRESTON! I NEVA MET A CELEEEEEEBRITY BEFOA! OMIGOD. OMIGOD OMIGOD.


(Ariel's the hottest bitch!)

-Gabriel.
Brooklyn, NY
(last Friday)

29 August 2010

PIRHANA IN 3D!!!!!!!

This is what happened tonight... and today:

1. Awakened to the sound of the cartoon birds that inhabit my window. (Actually, they perched on my shoulder as I sang my morning Hello to the world.)
2. bob and i said, "last night was fun-- thanks to Grindr"
3. called preston on way to pool. said "preston, we're going to said pool. wanna join?"
4. preston joins at pool. brings Hennessey.
5. together, the three of us scheme ways to get greenstuffs
6. preston friends calls. asks if he wants to smoke. to which he says, "Umm, I don't USUALLY.. but I guess i will"
7. tans in the bag, we leave golden brown with optimism
8. said friend smokes us up while watching alice in wonderland
9. preston, bob, and i go to see Piraña 3D at harvard Square with our free passes
10. 3D movies cost extra. didn't know this.
11. thus, our tickets leave us with a difference of $9
12. despite the three of us being "young professionals" (JK!!) we don't have the $9
13. a group of girls coming back from fire + ice recognize Preston
14. they take a pic with him. we all beg for cash.
15. they give us $4
16. we do cash deposit into bob's BOA acct.
17. we prove the old lady with the beard wrong..
18. and she has no choice but. to....
19. give us our tickets to Piraña 3D!!!1!!

Great movie.

Imagine Barbie doll vaginas being affectionately mauled by pre-historic fish species.

So artsy-meets-savage-meets-Gilligan.

So great that I've not removed my glasses.

23 August 2010

Happy Birthday Jay Mohr


Happy Birthday today to Jay Mohr, Preston's new best friend! Jay Mohr, the actor that everyone knows, but no one can name a movie he's been in.

13 August 2010

good thing i got it bleached

this is the type of rim job i've been DYING for.
get me to SoHo

http://videogum.com/210502/nsfw-inception-themed-craigslist-rim-job-posting/webjunk/

09 August 2010

Going Gangrene

So, if you're like me and sick of the "going green" trend, here are few cool tips to go green... the alternative way:

1. Forget TP. Instead, try wiping with a paper bag from your local grovery store. It hurts, but atleast you're saving a tree.

2. Who needs paper when you can write on the walls?

3. Wear fur. Especially the fur of animals that eat plants. Why no one is criticing the giraffe population for eating all the damn leaves off trees is beyond me.

4. Shit outside. Fertilizer.. duh.

5. Eat plastic bags. This way, they'll break down in your stomach and, thus, will probably be able to be recycled.

6. Stop flushing your toilet. Your roomates may get mad, but who are they to defy Mother Nature?

7. Stop taking showers. Try the Benjamin Franklin Fresh-Air approach. To do this, stand outside naked in a windstorm and let the cool breeze wash away your sins and whatever else you need to wash away.

8. Collect all the cigarette butts from the ground and do arts and crafts with them (for inspiration, look to Lady GaGa's cigarette shades in the "telephone" video).

9. If you can't figure out how to make the cigarette glasses (or you just don't have the right glue), try eating them instead. Kirstie Alley did this to lose weight so it can't be all that bad, right?

10. Wear smaller shoes so that your carbon footprint isn't so large.

11. Last but not least: Think green. Just think about the world looking really clean and uncluttered and it should help. It's that whole positive thinking mentality type of thing. I think.

27 July 2010

may i recommend


to you mango -

for your future weekend endeavor:

23 July 2010

Bobby... where are you?


Saw this while browsing through facebook this morning. Apparently one of my friends passed by this bearwash. I'm pretty sure Q6Q would get in line 5 times just to have these hairy muts wash him.

22 July 2010

My Fashion Daddy

Because the best way to get to know any one of us is by looking at the people we love. So, here's my first.

Enter Sir Elton John: raging queen, virtuoso of the keys, rocker of the large frames.... I could go on and on about the many reasons I've come to love this guy, but instead of typing a thousand words, I offer this:





21 July 2010

Fuck Shit Hell Y'all


So life as I know it is over. Now, the funny thing is that this life, that I'm now living, is not dissimilar from the life that's over. I still can't afford my soy milk, granola, and dried fruit on the convertor belt before me; the only difference is that the cashier at the checkout now knows my name. "Your total is $10.72." "Well I'll just pass on the dried fruit today. Besides, dried fruit is void of vitamins... Just like my bank account is void of dollars (awkward smile)." "Aren't you the kid from the Real World? Preston.. Right?" Adding insult to injury, these days my life seems to be much like my life before "Stardom," except everyone now knows my name. In writing this I have let the last bit of dignity fly out the window, which is actually a good thing since soon I'll be the future star of a low-budget adult film entitled the "Real Hole: New Orleans." I'm fine with this latest advancement in my life. Now instead of taking it hard from some unseen source, I now know the force behind the thrust will be a 5' 7" latin man with a distended belly named Edwardo. I'll check in later to let you know how the fist shoot goes; hopefully it won't be in my eye... I still don't have medical insurance. 

Presto 

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