OMIGOD! PRESTON! PRESTON! I NEVA MET A CELEEEEEEBRITY BEFOA! OMIGOD. OMIGOD OMIGOD.


(Ariel's the hottest bitch!)

-Gabriel.

Brooklyn, NY

(last Friday)

PIRHANA IN 3D!!!!!!!

This is what happened tonight... and today:

1. Awakened to the sound of the cartoon birds that inhabit my window. (Actually, they perched on my shoulder as I sang my morning Hello to the world.)
2. bob and i said, "last night was fun-- thanks to Grindr"
3. called preston on way to pool. said "preston, we're going to said pool. wanna join?"
4. preston joins at pool. brings Hennessey.
5. together, the three of us scheme ways to get greenstuffs
6. preston friends calls. asks if he wants to smoke. to which he says, "Umm, I don't USUALLY.. but I guess i will"
7. tans in the bag, we leave golden brown with optimism
8. said friend smokes us up while watching alice in wonderland
9. preston, bob, and i go to see Piraña 3D at harvard Square with our free passes
10. 3D movies cost extra. didn't know this.
11. thus, our tickets leave us with a difference of $9
12. despite the three of us being "young professionals" (JK!!) we don't have the $9
13. a group of girls coming back from fire + ice recognize Preston
14. they take a pic with him. we all beg for cash.
15. they give us $4
16. we do cash deposit into bob's BOA acct.
17. we prove the old lady with the beard wrong..
18. and she has no choice but. to....
19. give us our tickets to Piraña 3D!!!1!!

Great movie.

Imagine Barbie doll vaginas being affectionately mauled by pre-historic fish species.

So artsy-meets-savage-meets-Gilligan.

So great that I've not removed my glasses.

Happy Birthday Jay Mohr

Happy Birthday today to Jay Mohr, Preston's new best friend! Jay Mohr, the actor that everyone knows, but no one can name a movie he's been in.

Going Gangrene

So, if you're like me and sick of the "going green" trend, here are few cool tips to go green... the alternative way:

1. Forget TP. Instead, try wiping with a paper bag from your local grovery store. It hurts, but atleast you're saving a tree.

2. Who needs paper when you can write on the walls?

3. Wear fur. Especially the fur of animals that eat plants. Why no one is criticing the giraffe population for eating all the damn leaves off trees is beyond me.

4. Shit outside. Fertilizer.. duh.

5. Eat plastic bags. This way, they'll break down in your stomach and, thus, will probably be able to be recycled.

6. Stop flushing your toilet. Your roomates may get mad, but who are they to defy Mother Nature?

7. Stop taking showers. Try the Benjamin Franklin Fresh-Air approach. To do this, stand outside naked in a windstorm and let the cool breeze wash away your sins and whatever else you need to wash away.

8. Collect all the cigarette butts from the ground and do arts and crafts with them (for inspiration, look to Lady GaGa's cigarette shades in the "telephone" video).

9. If you can't figure out how to make the cigarette glasses (or you just don't have the right glue), try eating them instead. Kirstie Alley did this to lose weight so it can't be all that bad, right?

10. Wear smaller shoes so that your carbon footprint isn't so large.

11. Last but not least: Think green. Just think about the world looking really clean and uncluttered and it should help. It's that whole positive thinking mentality type of thing. I think.

Bobby... where are you?

Saw this while browsing through facebook this morning. Apparently one of my friends passed by this bearwash. I'm pretty sure Q6Q would get in line 5 times just to have these hairy muts wash him.

My Fashion Daddy

Because the best way to get to know any one of us is by looking at the people we love. So, here's my first.

Enter Sir Elton John: raging queen, virtuoso of the keys, rocker of the large frames.... I could go on and on about the many reasons I've come to love this guy, but instead of typing a thousand words, I offer this:

Fuck Shit Hell Y'all

So life as I know it is over. Now, the funny thing is that this life, that I'm now living, is not dissimilar from the life that's over. I still can't afford my soy milk, granola, and dried fruit on the convertor belt before me; the only difference is that the cashier at the checkout now knows my name. "Your total is $10.72." "Well I'll just pass on the dried fruit today. Besides, dried fruit is void of vitamins... Just like my bank account is void of dollars (awkward smile)." "Aren't you the kid from the Real World? Preston.. Right?" Adding insult to injury, these days my life seems to be much like my life before "Stardom," except everyone now knows my name. In writing this I have let the last bit of dignity fly out the window, which is actually a good thing since soon I'll be the future star of a low-budget adult film entitled the "Real Hole: New Orleans." I'm fine with this latest advancement in my life. Now instead of taking it hard from some unseen source, I now know the force behind the thrust will be a 5' 7" latin man with a distended belly named Edwardo. I'll check in later to let you know how the fist shoot goes; hopefully it won't be in my eye... I still don't have medical insurance. 

Presto 

Sent from I-Intellegence

Best Weekend Ever?

Well my weekend is already starting to shape up. It's only Saturday morning and my Friday night was already a success/shitshow. After celebrating two of my boys bdays, we were heading back to Cambridge (1am) and one of the cars got pulled over and my dude David was arrested. So naturally, I spent the next 3 hours hanging out in the South Boston, State Police barracks, trying to bail him out. Got him out at 4am, had a drink, called it a night. Now my entire family comes down to go ravage Boston tonight... lets see if we can out do last night. I'm shooting for 2 arrests, 1 fight, and someone getting laid. Cross ya fingers

Guerilla Marketing Tip #8

Last night there were four girls over. When I looked at their bags in the living room, I didn't see upper-middle-class mall culture, no. I saw four microcosms of opportunity. Being the self-promoter that I am, I seized the chance to get four new fans.

the death of whiskey breath

once you realize you've got a problem, it's a surprisingly optimistic feeling. kinda like sitting at the bottom of a well and knowing the only place you can actually go is up to that light at the top of it. i've always been a huge fan of change-- if not OCD about them. i mean, i rearraange each room in the apartment almost daily. so there's no reason to not enact it on a personal level.

and there's no reason every day needs to be seen through a fog. or not seen at all, depending on the severity of whatever concoction i'd made that afternoon. yes, afternoon. i used to be content, like all the time. like, didn't think about these vices constantly. i have hobbies that i've not touched for too long. and nothing is worse - and less justifiable- than apologies the morning after for things i'd never in my sober mind see myself doing or saying. plus, no ones wants to be the embarassment in a group of friends. that is a role reserved for people like mel gibson, or madonna's brother, Christopher-- people no one ever imagines themselves being. but unlike with flaws, we knowingly let some things slip under the radar.

that said, it's the death of whiskey breath, not kingston. he'll live on in all his glory, and will go on to wear the most beautifully golden wigs in all the land. i just want to go back to being crazy all on my own, with no help from poisons. there's no doubt that crazy is innate, so i'm not worried. i'll have it back in no time.

i'm reclaiming the fun. and silencing the trouble maker.

so, in ending this serious post (yeah, i can be serious and stuff, but i try to keep it on the dl, so no linking to this, lol) this is a final apology to anyone that's been affected by this in any number of ways. i hope you don't think i'm a lost cause, because i don't think i am anymore.

ok, now that this is over, take a deep breath and laugh or do something stupid. my least favorite note to leave on is a serious one. and even more than that, i'm dreading pressing the Publish Post button because, well... it's embarassing. but whatevs.

i only wrote this here so i could be held accountable for it.